In honor of the series finale of 30 Rock, I wrote, like, a bunch of posts for BuzzFeed.
11 Life Lessons From Liz Lemon
6 Suggestions For The Ben & Jerry’s “30 Rock” Ice Cream Flavor
Why didn’t anyone warn me and now I’m home alone and prolly gonna be killered?!
I think it was Thoreau who said, “Be true to your work, your word, and fuck all the haters.” Or whatever.
Regardless, it’s great advice. And I wish I would’ve taken it recently when a friend of mine said something this past weekend that was, well, not friendly at all. I won’t get into the play-by-play details of what happened, but I will say that he belittled my career.
[Insert sound of knuckles cracking.]
Because I’m not a mean person and not a huge fan of confrontation, I didn’t say anything to hurt him back. In the moment, I wanted to say a lot of things. Like, “You’re nothing but a jealous, Komodo dragon-looking bitch." Instead, I closed my mouth, walked away from the situation and took time to cool down.
Were I to do it all again, I still would not have said anything for the following reasons:
That being said, sometimes action is necessary and if you want to really bring it, here’s what you do:
1. Prepare for battle.
2. Get your bitchface on.
But, like, make it really bitchy.
3. Then say something short and sweet, like…
Because, in the end, you have better things to do than waste time with people who don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.
And the truth is…
4. So, walk away and flip your beautiful weave…
5. And try to remember that…
6. This won’t be the last time you encounter a hater. But just take solace in the fact that they will die alone, while sometime in the near future you will sit on George Clooney’s lap, sipping champagne and not thinking about them at all, because they are less than nothing.
xoxo
New year, new job—whuddup 2013?!—and mine just happens to be at my favorite website, BuzzFeed.
I started last Monday and couldn’t be happier. The LA based writing team I’m working with is phenomenal, smart and completely engaging—as is everyone at the company. It’s a compelling and unique environment, where new ideas are welcomed and creativity abounds. So, yeah, it’s pretty much the greatest.
I’ve also been able to write some really fun pieces, like this one on What Women Think About Going to the Gynecologist. Or 24 Faces to Make at People You Don’t Like. And this fun one about Sergeant Brody’s return to Homeland.
You can keep up with all of my posts here, and make sure to follow me on Twitter for updates as well!
Hello! To answer this question, I was only in Cedar City for a day, you can read about that here. I spent most of my time traveling around Utah in anticipation of Colorado City, which deals with the FLDS and not regular old Mormons.
However, if you do belong to a polygamous sect, I’d love to chat further! Hit me up!
And harshly!