La Rosa Knows
Month
I don’t think I’ll ever really recover from the news that Jon Snow and Ygritte from Game of Thrones are dating in real life.
Firstly, because Ygritte/Rose is a redhead and I unconditionally support any ginger in their romantic endeavors.
And secondly, because when the next season premieres my brain is going to explode with the knowledge that off-camera they enjoy each other. Intimately.
Just. Too. Delicious.
Based off of my psychic (kinda) friend Ally’s email to me yesterday. Take a look.
SUBJECT: i had the craziest dream about you last night
BODY OF EMAIL: you invited a bunch of friends to this show you had written, but it was in some weird garden/community theater. And the surprise was you were getting married after it and you wanted me to come to the wedding too. also your family was there and you were surprising them by marrying this really effete, overweight black dude. you said you knew they’d be really mad but you didn’t care, you were in love and excited that the play was debuting before your wedding. i woke up really confused. maybe it’s a sign i just haven’t seen you in awhile and clearly we need to catch up soon. xo
I can’t wait!!!
I think it’s important to give compliments just as much as receive them.
In that spirit, here’s your compliment for today, c/o Hillary Clinton.
Your hair really is fab.
The first night of Shark Week is behind us, and already I feel invigorated.
I know that some people (i.e. hipsters, everyone in the world, etc.) claim to love Shark Week, but don’t actually watch it.
I am not one of those people. I truly love Shark Week. It started from an early age, when my Dad would watch it on the Discovery Channel and I’d be right next to him, gaping in awe and mild horror at what was lurking in the water. I grew up in Florida and we lived right on the water, so the ocean was only a few hundred feet from us, and I always had the irrational fear that these deep sea monsters would break through our seawall and sneak into the pool. (Look, I know that sounds stupid, OK? I was 5 years old, give me a break.)
Unfortunately, because of my religious fervor for Shark Week, it has not only imbued in me a deep respect for sharks, but also a healthy if not paralyzing fear of the ocean. There was a time when I couldn’t walk ankle deep into the water without someone holding my hand. (Did I mention that time is now?).
My Dad tried to take me water skiing when I was 11, and as soon as they dropped me into the water I started hysterically screaming and crying, convinced that lurking beneath me was the second coming of Jaws and he was lusting for my blood.
Every time I attempt to go into the ocean, what plays on a loop in my head are the clips I’ve seen of jumping Great Whites, or Bull Sharks trickling into shallow water and nipping people at the calf. What started as a healthy fear has snowballed into a crippling phobia. It’s part of why swimming with sharks is on my bucket list. I feel like once I am able to face my fear (in a protected metal cage, of course) it will help me move on with my life.
But for now, I watch. So that I can appreciate sharks and all they’re capable of, but mainly so that I know what to do if/when I’m attacked. I feel like the more I know about them physically, the better equipped I’ll be when I find myself the object of their desire.
Not that I’d ever be foolish enough to go into the ocean, mind you, but just in case I’m somehow mysteriously dropped there. Or stranded on a desert island. Or kidnapped by a sex ring who gets off by watching girls swim in a shark tank.
You just never know when your time will come, right?
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney dropped by the Borowitz Report today and gave what some are calling his most candid interview ever: http://nyr.kr/TlT4ca
Mitt: “Now, there’s stuff in my biography that would help me with the Republican base—like the time in prep school when I pinned that gay boy to the ground and cut his hair off—but that gets little if any coverage. This is a clear case of media bias, and I wish it would stop.”
Let’s talk about dreams, shall we?
Everyone has secret things they do when alone in their bedroom, wearing candy cane print pajamas and shoveling in fistfuls of M&Ms.
One of my secret things involves housing lust.
As in, scouring the Internet in search of homes that I would like to have a toothbrush in one day.
Part of my secret behavior includes spending time on the housing section of Craigslist, ArchDaily, and adding images to my Pinterest board. The result being that I’ve found many homes to envy, several design elements I’d like to one day incorporate, and all of the below images.
Here’s what I would like to one day have (if I put these things on my blog it’s kind of like The Secret, right?):
Whatever the hell this house is:
Cookie Bunny:
