NPR did this piece on how drinking multiple cups of coffee per day can help women fight depression…

Like I need another excuse to be over caffeinated.

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ANTHROPOMORPHIC COLLECTIVE NOUNS

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The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals. We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese. However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls. Now, consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

Believe it or not - a Congress!

Apparently there’s a man in Canada having sex with cabbage patch dolls, among other things. He was arrested and charged with making child pornography.

But my favorite part of the article is this last bit…

Osborn has pleaded not guilty to making and possessing child pornography along with voyeurism and possession of a dangerous weapon, a set of nunchuks.

LOL

I was sent this article by a deliberate pace. The headline: “Ryan Gosling says he’ll eventually quit acting to focus on babies”…

Gosling stated, “I’d like to be making babies but I’m not, so I’m making movies. When someone comes along I don’t think I’ll be able to do both and I’m fine with that. I’ll make movies until I make babies. I have no idea when the handover will happen.”

Oh…

As if we weren’t going extinct fast enough…

The world’s largest sperm bank has started turning down redhead donors because there’s a “lack of demand” for us.

The director of the sperm bank was quoted as saying:

I do not think you chose a redhead, unless the partner–for example, the sterile male–has red hair, or because the lone woman has a preference for redheads. And that’s perhaps not so many, especially in the latter case.

Excuse me? I am a redhead and a woman. But this pissed me off. Mostly because what he’s saying is partially true.

There has been real and open hatred of redheaded males in the media. Not just in calling them “gingers” but also in relegating redhead males to the role of comic relief (i.e. Ron Weasley in Harry Potter), rather than leading man.

By not showing redhead men in a positive light, it tells the world that they are unworthy, or undesirable. The same way that women who watch too many commercials often feel pressured to diet and work out, as a result of all the advertisements to lose weight.

When is the last time you saw a redhead male in a leading, romantic role? I honestly can’t think of one.

I’d just like to point out a few examples of hot redhead men- if not for my own sanity, then for that of some of the redhead males in my life. My brother, for example, and one of my best friends, Tommy.

Appreciate redheaded men while you can, trust me when I say that you’ll miss them!

Lynn Kegan of HGTV’s “Designed to Sell”

Ewan McGregor

Peabo Powell, a redhead model

Simon Woods in “Pride and Prejudice”

My man, Michael C Hall

Duh, Prince Harry

Robert Redford. Fuck yeah.

Eric Stoltz.

Conan O'Brien. Very Funny.

Rupert Grint.

If you’ve already seen this movie then I think you’ll agree that the title is a little like Fuck, Marry, Kill. Except in this case you leave the theater tormented between choosing ‘Crazy’ or 'Stupid,’ with 'Love’ never coming into the equation.

Let’s get something straight: I LOVE rom-coms. And I should have loved this movie because it has all of the elements for a successful one; cute men, loss of love, redemption, grand romantic gestures, a speech at the end that begs for forgiveness, my boyfriend JOSH GROBAN. All of these things should have added up and formed a little bubble of love around my head.

But, alas, not the case.

I had heard great things about this movie, perhaps too many things. “It’s AMAZING!!” “You’ll love it!” “It has Josh Groban in it!!”

However, as the movie came to a close and the lights came up, David turned to me in the theater and asked, “What did ya think?”

What I think is that it didn’t work. Yes, there were moments I loved (i.e. when Steve Carell is lurking outside of Julianne Moore’s window and walks her through how to get the pilot light on), but overall I was disappointed.

It’s like they threw all of the ideas they ever had for a romantic comedy into one script and tied it together with frayed threads, hoping it wouldn’t snap as they stretched it all out into a movie.

To be fair I loved Emma Stone, she’s adorable, and Ryan Gosling kept his shirt off for an agreeable amount of time.

But I did not LOVE this movie. In the FMK scenario, I would, perhaps, Fuck this movie and go home, take a hot shower, and scrub the memory away into the drain.

Any thoughts here? Care to disagree?