7 posts tagged britney spears
The thing about holidays is this: You will run into someone you don’t want to see.
Because whether you’re home for Christmas or…whatever, you’re home. As in, back in the place where you grew up and went to high school.
Here’s a step-by-step guide of what will happen when that moment comes:
1. The Initial Shock
This is the moment when you first notice the other person across the room and instantly regress to the fat fuck you were in high school. It’s okay, you can get through this!!!
2. Realization That You’ve Won
Oh, shit, actually, upon further inspection, they are now the fat fuck and you have aged into your own hotness.
This feels good. Really good. So good that you might start maniacally laughing and thus have to scrunch your mouth tightly together so people won’t think you’re some hot, crazy bitch.
3. Forced Pleasantries
The problem with staring at someone is that, eventually, they’ll feel the coals of your judging hot eyes burning into them like a poker. When this happens you’ll be forced to actually make contact, turn your grimace into a scary smile and avoid talking about the fact that you hated them in high school. And vice versa.
4. Run Like Hell
The faster you leave, the better. Run hard and for as long as physically possible. The last thing you want is to stay too long and get sucked into a vortex where they continue to drink and do something horrifying, like suggest you two hang out again.
5. Go Big or Go Home
You managed to survive a high school hit and run and lived to tell the tale. Get your ass to the store, buy a studded jacket and some cotton candy, because you deserve to celebrate!
As a side note: If I ran into you this Thanksgiving and we went to high school together, don’t worry, this isn’t about you. It’s about that other person I saw at a bar. That time. At that place. In that thing that never happened.
Where all my WeHo gays at??
D-Nast wants to tell you something very special in his new music video, ‘I Wanna Blow.’ I think you’ll approve.
Oh, don’t think you could hide from me, young RYAN GOSLING.
This is so hot, you guyz.
it’s your own damn fault if you haven’t heard “WHIP MY HAIR” by WILLow SMITH -
but it’s time for WHIPNEY, bitch!!
we saw britney!
i saw the pics!!
how was it??
held up with fishing wire
made to dance like a marionette
it was gay.
i feel so sad for her
she makes me sad
"She looks good!"
but, she just looked sad to me
good, compared to two years ago
but she's so over it
--wait. i was just looking at myself in the mirror
Find James at:
Britney Spears + Glee = tonight!
I really hope this is a good episode. Don’t eff this up!