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The Bridesmaid Diaries

Last weekend I experienced the joys of being a bridesmaid.

My friend Janelle got married and, as such, I joined three other lovely ladies for the honor of wearing matching gowns and walking down an aisle…with a complete stranger.

Let me preface this by saying that I love weddings. I love being a bridesmaid. My friend looked FANTASTIC and I wept during the exchanging of the vows. It was a really fabulous event.

That being said, I’ve learned some things from this latest adventure. Life lessons that I hope future bridesmaids can improve from.

THESE are those lessons:

  • Booze, Booze and More Booze

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Behold, the bride and her matron of honor: They’ve got a Bloody Mary in one hand and champagne in the other—all smiles!

  • Make Things Pretty

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Want to know how to tame a “Bridezilla”? Make the bride feel beautiful at every possible moment.

For example, I arranged a lovely meat and cheese platter next to the makeup station. The Maid of Honor zoned the pictured table as a “pretty things only” space, (hence the garter, shoes, and bling). In this way, whenever the bride’s eyes tinge red and smoke billows from her ears, all you have to do is remind her of the truffle hors d'oeuvres on the adjacent table.

  • Play Dumb

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THIS is a final and critical lesson. If something bad or not so great is happening, pretend like nothing is wrong.

For example, the photographers missing? That’s weird. Not like he called you to say he was stuck in traffic and couldn’t really read the directions he’d written down earlier. No, that never happened, and you’re 100% sure he’ll be there any moment so the bride can have millions of beautiful memories to reminisce over in her old age. Nothing is at all wrong.

Did I leave anything out?