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How to Handle Haters

I think it was Thoreau who said, “Be true to your work, your word, and fuck all the haters.” Or whatever.

Regardless, it’s great advice. And I wish I would’ve taken it recently when a friend of mine said something this past weekend that was, well, not friendly at all. I won’t get into the play-by-play details of what happened, but I will say that he belittled my career.

[Insert sound of knuckles cracking.]

Because I’m not a mean person and not a huge fan of confrontation, I didn’t say anything to hurt him back. In the moment, I wanted to say a lot of things. Like, “You’re nothing but a jealous, Komodo dragon-looking bitch." Instead, I closed my mouth, walked away from the situation and took time to cool down.

Were I to do it all again, I still would not have said anything for the following reasons: 

  • It’s better to take the highroad. Stay classy, folks.
  • Anyone who is cruel enough to say something that will hurt your feelings doesn’t deserve your time, energy or witty comebacks.
  • Just to further my point in #2: If a person is being cruel, it’s not because they hate you, it’s because they’re horrifyingly insecure. So insecure that they feel the need to take it out on you in an effort to make you feel just as badly as they do. It’s important not to give people like that the satisfaction of seeing you upset.

That being said, sometimes action is necessary and if you want to really bring it, here’s what you do:

1. Prepare for battle.

2. Get your bitchface on.

But, like, make it really bitchy.

3. Then say something short and sweet, like…

Because, in the end, you have better things to do than waste time with people who don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.

And the truth is…

4. So, walk away and flip your beautiful weave…

5. And try to remember that…

6. This won’t be the last time you encounter a hater. But just take solace in the fact that they will die alone, while sometime in the near future you will sit on George Clooney’s lap, sipping champagne and not thinking about them at all, because they are less than nothing.

xoxo