3 Films Virgins Should Be Forced to Watch
Yes, your virgin flower is a precious gift from the gods and if anyone tries to take it don’t hesitate to stab them in the elbow.
That being said, there are some crucial lessons all virgins should learn before they, well, lose it forever. These are those lessons.
1. Movie: Cruel Intentions
Lesson #1: Never announce that you’re staying a virgin in Seventeen Magazine unless you want a couple of sexy, manipulative aristocrats to fight over you.
Lesson Number 2: Definitely announce your virginity in that magazine because of Lesson #1.
2. Movie: Teeth
Urban truth: All vaginas have razor sharp teeth that can be used indiscriminately for the purpose of revenge.
Ladies, if a guy doesn’t treat you right, asks you to dress as a french maid, etc. use that vagina dentata!
3. Movie: Almost Famous
Hippies have hoe tendencies, and your virgin seed is a novelty to them. Want your first time to be an orgie? Look no further than a group of gypsy on-the-brink band sluts.
Anything I missed?
