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I’m An Adult Tomboy

Remember that scene in Now and Then where Christina Ricci’s character has to deal with the horrors of wearing a bra? Meanwhile, Teeny is filling her training bra with vanilla pudding? Yeah, I was Christina in that scenario.

Growing up, I hated showers and wore my hair in a ponytail every day. I played soccer, (I was a defender), would climb trees, and had a “thing” for collecting caterpillar larvae. I don’t know why, it all just felt really fucking good. 

Then boobies hit. Which happened pretty early for me, at the ripe age of 11. I was terrified. Bras are basically medieval torture devices, right? Thusly, I HATED the idea of strapping myself into one. None of the other girls in my grade had to wear one, and yet, there I was, with two new ladies to call my own. By the time middle school rolled around I’d been given a new nickname by the guys in my class: “Double Bubble.” My best friend at the time was called “Pancake,” which was reflective of her own situation. (I’m happy to report that Pancake got some bubbles of her own, eventually.)

Time passed, and when high school hit, I got significantly more girly than I had been. I figured out how to brush my hair. I wore blush, much to my mother’s delight, and I’d even grown fond of wearing a bra. (Perhaps out of necessity more than anything else. After all, the ladies can get rather bouncy when left to their own devices.)

Now that I’m 28, you’d think I might have even more girlish tendencies, right? Not so much. This weekend I’m headed to Palm Springs with a group of girls, and I’m on an email chain where there’s an intense discussion about “flower crowns.”

If you’ve never seen one, here you go:

I know what these are, because a very girly friend of mine, (not going on this trip) made her own for Coachella this past year. And now, the girls I’m traveling with have plans to make crowns for all of us. Because girls look great in flower crowns. (No sarcasm at all there. I truly believe they are cute.)

That being said, the whole email thread gave me a mild panic attack. Because I realized that I don’t know how to make one, nor do I have the desire to do so. If someone hands me a crown, will I wear it? Probably, pending the color. But would I actually make one? Not so much. 

Every girl on this trip seems to be of the flowery persuasion. It’s part of why I love and am drawn to these girls too. They’re so different from me, and I think that’s awesome.

I can’t help but wonder, though, if there’s a secret former/current tomboy amongst the bunch who will sit the flower braiding out and hang with me while we chat about non-flower things… Like caterpillar larvae, for example.

Any other current adult tomboys out there?

majuan:

…When I was a kid the internet hadn’t been invented yet so we played a lot of board games.

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We’d also pass the time by climbing anything that was climbable..

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One time I got a bicycle for Christmas. When I tried it out for the first time the front wheel came off. I don’t think I need to…

These illustrated excerpts from childhood are really fantastic. Love it.

Chris:  I’m watching this music video at the same time I have Ke$ha playing in the background

me:  lololol

Chris:  It’s glorious
omg this video is incredible
why was life soooo cheesy back then?

me:  I feel like O missed it!
 
Chris:  They’re wearing like over sized sweaters/performance fleece
me:  and I think plastic
and, like, those cargo pants that unzip and become shorts
 
Chris:  I just saw a Nautica logo
 
me:  I’ve counted no less than 1 million polyester braids on Chris Kirkpatrick
Chris:  “god sends you his love”
is a legit lyric in this
bahahah
lance bass
justin timberlake with a black baby
 
me:  Circa 1998
Chris:  hahah
OK now if you’ll excuse me, I see a link to Taylor Swift’s new video on this youtube page.
gimme 10 minutes and a cigarette break. brb