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How to Survive the Dreaded 6 am Flight

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Friends, Romans, LAX-bound men, lend me your ears!

Let me tell you a funny story about a girl—for our purposes here we’ll name her “I” and divulge this tale using the first person narrative.

Now, for some wacky reason, I decided to book a morning flight for my trip back to Florida to be a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding. At the time, 6:30 a.m. seemed like a fairly reasonable hour to arrive at the airport, and even an ambitious task that I might take great pride upon achieving.

But, what I had regrettably forgotten is that sleep is necessary for survival. Silly, witless, I.

After a 3:30 a.m. wake-up call, harried shuffle into a waiting shuttle bus, and a large cup of coffee that had absolutely no effect on me, I’ve learned some very important rules to live by:

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  1. Don’t book morning flights.
  2. If you accidentally break Rule 1, then do yourself a favor and pack snacks for the car ride. Your lack of hanger (hunger+anger) will thank me.
  3. Whatever you typically order coffee wise? Double it.
  4. Make sure you don’t have to speak to anyone on the flight, because if anyone so much as throws you a sideways glance that early in the morning, you will burn that place to the ground.
  5. With Rule 4 in mind, plug in your iPod, put on a sleep mask, and wrap a plastic bag loosely around your head. People will be freaked out just enough to leave you the eff alone.
  6. Mainly just follow Rule 1.