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10 posts tagged cute kitty
We Need to Talk About Snoopy the Cat
There are few moments in life when great things happen, but this morning my friend Ryan sent me the greatest gift of all: a new cat to stalk.
His/her name is Snoopy, and I think shim may be the greatest performing cat of all time, (even better than that jerk, Grumpy the Cat,) here’s why:
1. Sometimes Snoopy dresses like a coy debutante.
2. Other times, it’s a transvestite taking off her eye makeup.
3. But Snoopy can also play it cazh, like when he goes full on tourist overwhelmed at Disneyland.
4. And channeling other animals isn’t a problem, like this shot where she imitates a sea lion bellowing from the inside of someone’s drawer.
5. Look, it’s no secret that this cat’s a pro. Just look at the wink it pulled off WHILE in a bumblebee suit. That’s called talent, folks.
6. I also think it’s pretty impressive that she can do a spot-on impression of the senile old Russian lady in my building.
7. While at the same time manifesting into a ‘50s actress in her dressing room, just waiting for her closeup.
8. Then there’s the harder, more dominating S&M side to Snoopy.
9. While some mornings, Snoopy is all about comfort and, like me, often loses one of her socks.
10. In the end though, when the internet cat points will be tallied, I think we can all agree that this is quite simply: one cute kitty.
A Chant for Burning a Bad Kitty
Gabby:
i did not sleep at all. the cat keeps scaring me in the middle of the night
Me:
you need to get rid.
Gabby:
it ate my tree. and did not die.
Me:
and it never will. you must tie it to the stake
Gabby:
never ever?
Me:
and burn a ring of catnip around it's furry paws. i have a chant. it should take care of this "Oliver." hopefully...
Gabby:
how does it go?
Me:
the cat with no paws cannot have the claws
Gabby:
(cue secret circle music)
Me:
to tear out my eyes and make a disguise/ from the blood that he drains in spite of my pains/you must die litte cat, and that is that. THE END
Gabby:
erin. that was beautifulllll ive been wooed
Me:
Really?? You think I'm pretty??
Gabby:
Lets put it this way.....you're too pretty to be poor
This is how I look when I sit at my desk and fume… FUME.
From Cats Chillin’.
AHHHHH
This cat just found out there is no Santa.
The answer to this question will speak volumes about you as a person:
Are you the puppy or the kitty?
I am _______!
My sketch comedy group Shark Week just posted a new video!
The good news? It features sexy pillow fights, a cute kitten, a dude in a wig, and some surprise reveals!
Watch it… right now… while the getting is still good.
Scary Shark Cat wins my heart.