My House of Fun.
I was Tumbling and saw this poster for Melancholia on a blog. It’s a really simple quote, but the image and the words touched some deep little sea urchin inside and got me thinking…
I’ve been going through this time in my life where I’ve decided not to care so much or, rather, not constantly worry about what I’m doing every minute of every day. For the last couple of years, I built up a lot of rules to live by. Rules regarding men, my job, my friends, where I was living, what I would wear, how I would act, what was appropriate, etc.
I think a lot of people do this. It seems like, if you want something, you have to create the skipping stones to get there. And the natural thing to do is clearly mark those stones so you don’t trip and break your ass. I think this might be more commonly known as the ‘Quarterlife Crisis’?
For me, that whole follow the rules things ended recently because I went through a lot of life changes. I had to deal with situations and realities that I couldn’t control, and the only thing I could think to do was spend time processing those, and then move the fuck on.
I decided that my new way forward would be this: Have more fun.
It might sound silly, but for the past couple of years there has been a lot less fun, and a lot more rules. Not that all rules are bad - they aren’t. Case in point: I like to follow laws of traffic, and still actively try to remain a mannered young lady. But when you have too many rules, rules that stop you from taking risks, that’s when it becomes a problem.
So, if I stop worrying about all of the rules, I can just focus on having fun. I tried to put this plan into motion pretty immediately and bought a ticket to New York. While there, I made a point to just not give a shit. I drank and stayed out till 5 a.m. every night, ate whatever I wanted, shopped, saw old friends, and danced as much as physically possible because, for me, dancing makes me insanely happy.
Since being back in Los Angeles, that mantra of ‘Have more fun’ has stuck. It feels good. Better than good, actually, and for the first time in a really long time it seems like I’m experiencing things differently. Really appreciating everything I’m doing, or something. I’m not trying to sound like some zenned out preacher, but I feel happier with myself. I guess because I’m starting this new chapter in my life and I just know that it’s going to be BRILLIANT.
And that’s the whole thing, that’s why I’m ranting - because I want to enjoy this while it lasts. I’m hoping this feeling will keep on going, but who knows - shit happens. Enjoy it while it lasts. Those are smart words.
Has anyone else gone through something like this and, if so, can we talk it out and go have some fun together?
