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My Shark Week Obsession

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The first night of Shark Week is behind us, and already I feel invigorated.

I know that some people (i.e. hipsters, everyone in the world, etc.) claim to love Shark Week, but don’t actually watch it.

I am not one of those people. I truly love Shark Week. It started from an early age, when my Dad would watch it on the Discovery Channel and I’d be right next to him, gaping in awe and mild horror at what was lurking in the water. I grew up in Florida and we lived right on the water, so the ocean was only a few hundred feet from us, and I always had the irrational fear that these deep sea monsters would break through our seawall and sneak into the pool. (Look, I know that sounds stupid, OK? I was 5 years old, give me a break.)

Unfortunately, because of my religious fervor for Shark Week, it has not only imbued in me a deep respect for sharks, but also a healthy if not paralyzing fear of the ocean. There was a time when I couldn’t walk ankle deep into the water without someone holding my hand. (Did I mention that time is now?).

My Dad tried to take me water skiing when I was 11, and as soon as they dropped me into the water I started hysterically screaming and crying, convinced that lurking beneath me was the second coming of Jaws and he was lusting for my blood.

Every time I attempt to go into the ocean, what plays on a loop in my head are the clips I’ve seen of jumping Great Whites, or Bull Sharks trickling into shallow water and nipping people at the calf. What started as a healthy fear has snowballed into a crippling phobia. It’s part of why swimming with sharks is on my bucket list. I feel like once I am able to face my fear (in a protected metal cage, of course) it will help me move on with my life.

But for now, I watch. So that I can appreciate sharks and all they’re capable of, but mainly so that I know what to do if/when I’m attacked. I feel like the more I know about them physically, the better equipped I’ll be when I find myself the object of their desire.

Not that I’d ever be foolish enough to go into the ocean, mind you, but just in case I’m somehow mysteriously dropped there. Or stranded on a desert island. Or kidnapped by a sex ring who gets off by watching girls swim in a shark tank.

You just never know when your time will come, right?

If there’s one thing to know, it’s that Shark Week is the true beginning of my holiday season.

And it’s finally here! Tonight at 9/8c the best week of 2012 begins, and the first show up to bat is AIR JAWS APOCALYPSE. Seriously, even the name makes me kind of drool in anticipation. (I’m only half kidding.)

Here’s the website description:

AIR JAWS APOCALYPSE, Premiering Sunday, August 12, 9PM e/p
Colossus is a massive 14-foot great white that dominates all other sharks in the area. Kurr and his team push the envelope even further with a new camera specially designed for the shoot, new angles and new hair-raising encounters… even if it means risking their lives for the ultimate close-up with Colossus. And what they discover in this yearlong filming expedition is a true scientific breakthrough: dozens of great whites clustered in shallow water, feeding on smaller sharks and rays — with Colossus dominating the grounds and nearly eating the camera.

I’m sooo excited!!! :D

Will any of you be watching?!?